Last month I asked someone, “Hey, what’s news?” and he replied with a laugh, “You mean what’s newsworthy?” ha ha…
It made me think about how we have so many light (shallow) conversations using ‘what’s news?’ or ‘how are you?’ when all we really want is deep connection.
Be honest, do you actually listen in-depth when people respond to your “how are you?”? Or do you glaze over, keep walking, or start the conversation you want to have?
Don’t feel bad if this resonates. I can promise you, you’re not alone.
People stave off unwanted attention by wearing their “F@#% off!” t-shirt – whether it be through body language, expression, or by using other words to that effect… We keep it shallow for all kinds of reasons.
Personally, I hate shallow.
I love thought-provoking, challenging convos, especially if they’re spattered with deep belly laughs, those are my very favourite engagements.
At quiz night last night my best mate was taking the piss out of how I ‘run’ the show at quiz night… She was trying to get to the bottom of why I do this, and I love that about her. I enjoy analysing myself and others analysing me.
So, you can imagine when I’m coaching or facilitating a workshop, I’m more interested in the unsaid. In people’s body language, reactions, and then conversation last. I love to see beyond the face, and to understand why people say what they say or react the way they do.
Often I sense people walled in by superficiality, yet they’re crying out for someone to take enough time and care to crack open the wall and see the beauty that’s on the other side.
So, my challenge to you is this – for the next few weeks, why not try to see the beauty beneath the surface of everyone you engage with at home, at work, socially … even at quiz night?
Drop me a note in the comments to let me know how you get on!