Lately, I’ve been thinking about why I don’t like being told what to do or how to live. And I realised… it’s not just because I’m stubborn (though, yes, guilty as charged). It’s because I know what it’s like to have my voice, choices, and freedom taken away.

I’ve already shared after my 60th my amazement at even making it to 60. Now I’m 61, and looking back on the winding road that got me here — some bits beautiful, some bits downright awful…

The bit that shaped me.

I was born in the UK (Gillingham, Kent), moved to NZ when I was 7 with my sister (8) and brother (16). My dad, Wally Scott, was a brilliant jazz musician, arranger, music teacher, and band leader, and Mum’s parents were here, so we immigrated.

Fast forward a few years, and I did my OE — four months in England and Europe, then back again a year later to help my girlfriend run a pub. Who am I to say no? 🍻

That’s where I met Simon. He swept me off my feet and love-bombed me. We were together for 3.5 years, and it was… tumultuous, to say the least. I learned to walk on eggshells. To watch what I said, how I said it, when I said it. If he lost his temper, it was somehow my fault. I put on a brave face and “soldiered on”, even when he told me that if I ever left him, he’d hunt me down and kill me. 😱

No one knew.

A call for help.

One particularly abusive night, I sat in bed and prayed. I told God I knew I’d landed myself in something He never wanted for me, apologised, and asked for a lifeline. At that instant, the phone rang. It was one of my best friends in Canada. Out of the blue, she told me she felt compelled to call me (in a different time zone and everything!!!) and invited me to go and stay with her. Incredible, eh? 🌟

Armed with God’s constant love and strength, I put the house on the market the next day, knowing Simon would either kill me or be defeated when he came home. The rest is history. I spent a month in Toronto, came back around the time we were supposed to be married (a near miss like a plane crash!), and started rebuilding my life.

Why I guard my freedom so fiercely.

That relationship taught me, in the harshest way possible, what it’s like to have your freedom stolen. So now?

I often ask myself — and I’ll ask you too — what stands between you and freedom?

One thing’s for sure: I will never tolerate being controlled, silenced, or told how I “should” live my life.

And here’s the flip side — it also made me deeply grateful for the freedom I have now. I’m blessed beyond measure, even in ways that might not be obvious to anyone else. I’m blessed to be alive. Blessed to have people who love me. Blessed to have choices. 🙏🏻

That’s why I bang on about gratitude at every chance I get. The practice of gratitude is life-changing — actually brain-changing (check out Dr Joe Dispenza). It’s an inside job.

You might not have the “things” you want, but you can still be blessed — because you got out of a dangerous situation, because you’re simply alive and kicking, because you have even the tiniest thing to smile about today. 😌

When you focus on what you’ve been given instead of what you haven’t, you somehow seem to get more.

So, when I preach to live in an attitude of gratitude, I mean it. Find 5 things each day that you’re grateful for and see what happens — I dare you! 💜